I have to admit that LJ and have been co-sleeping. I have been sleeping with my newborn. Which with many is a no-no. Yet, there is a small movement in the Western world to sleep with your children. They call it co-sleeping and its part of the attachment parenting strategy. Leave it to the West to give a fancy name to something that happens all over the world.
I hadn’t planned on sleeping with my son. I also don’t plan on having a family bed (another new term) forever.
When we first came home from the hospital our nighttime routine included breastfeeding, holding, diaper changing, and repeat. In all that LJ would sleep then wake up and cry. I didn’t sleep at all the first couple of days. Then as the days went on I was able to sleep 30 mins here and an hour there and nights were the hardest. Nights are when you expect to sleep.
Anyone who knows me knows I like to sleep. I’ve always needed 8-9 hours EVERY night.
So nights were VERY hard.
After awhile our routine included me feeding and rocking him to sleep. Then I would crawl into bed after putting him in his bassinet. It seemed as if the moment I would stretch out and close my eyes, he would cry.
So one sleepless night I was feeding him and fell asleep. We both slept in the guest bed. In the morning Jeff (looking for us) woke ME up and I screamed as if I was being murdered. I quickly searched for LJ and there he was still sleeping right beside me. I hadn't rolled over him and he hadn't wedged himself between the wall or been smothered by pillows.
It felt great to sleep but I felt so guilty!
Anyways two weeks later I deliberately bring LJ with me to bed and we both get 3 to 4 hours of sleep wake up for a quick feeding and then repeat. When I put him down (to sleep) he cries.
I definitely plan to have him in his crib before he rolls over and crawls. Everyday I try different things to get LJ to prefer his crib over sleeping beside me. So far no he prefers sleeping with me.
Does anyone have any suggestions???
I used the Arms reach mini co-cleeper. It's like a little crib that attaches to your bed. SO that you can have your space, but be close enough for the baby to sense/smell you and for you to just roll over and pick him up. Now she's in a crib, still in our room, but that's ok. The mistake is, which will be very hard for you to not repeat, I nurse her to sleep. So, I'm now trying to train her to fall asleep on her own. I still nurse her at night, but not until she's knocked out asleep. So when I put her in her crib she knows that I'm putting her there and has to learn to self-soothe. Don't wait as long as I did to do that--she turned 1 on Tues. In your spare time, read the "Baby Whisperer" chapter on sleep. So I didn't do the cry it out method, but sort of a modified version of it where you pick them up when they cry, when they calm down they back in the crib. In my case thisup and down lasted for 1 1/2 hours until she finally went down. I tried it months ago and she won the up-down battle. After a year without decent sleep, I had the willpower to make sure that I won this time:-). So now, I'm trying to train her to sleep thru the night, with a modified version of what I just described. Acording to the program that I'm doing it will take 10 nights. I'm not a fan of Ferber or really crying it out so, I'm willing to go the 10 nights instead of the 2-3 nights of crying it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks! How long could you use the mini-co-sleeper? I nurse to sleep as well. :( Didn't realize the "problems" I was causing until I realized he won't nap without it too.
ReplyDeleteKarlyn... actually I meant "how big is the co-sleeper?" I'm trying to figure out if its worth it to buy it now. He's almost 12 pounds and 9 weeks. thanks
ReplyDeleteI used it until she was about 4 mos old, but I had the mini co-sleeper. It says they can stay in it until 35 lbs. It's called the Arm's Reach co-sleeper. Had I swaddled her longer perhaps she could've stayed longer. She was busting out of it so I freed her.It could hold the weight, but Kamari's long so when I stopped swaddling her at about 4 mos she was too long for it. We now have a mini crib in our room next to our bed. She can probably stay in it until she's almost 2.
ReplyDeleteSince I didn't breast feed Zoe, I don't think I had to deal with that. The first 5-6 weeks with Zoe, she would only fall asleep on me. When I returned to Accra, I was encouraged to let her cry it out. That worked right away. Zoe was sleeping through the night by 9 weeks. I use to dream feed her and change her diaper in the middle of the night, but it always seemed like I was interrupting her sleep. I decided to not do the dream feed to see how long she would sleep. She slept til around 5:30 am. Everyone has different methods. You should bottle feed him at night because with breast feeding, you're never really sure that they get enough to eat before going to sleep. Babies are not necessarily hungry when they wake, but they will eat if you give them food.
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